My Lolita
by Imae
Summary: I feel this emptiness inside. You are the idea in my head that gives me hope and happiness. I dream of only you. Can the world forgive me for loving my ward. No more than forteen. Ped and a lemon.


I do not own Inuyasha, this story was also slightly based on the book "Lolita."

My Lolita

Every man has a weakness.

Every beast has a need.

My heart ached.

My heart burned.

My heart . . . needed her.

It was not intended, she came willingly.

Her eyes held mischief, her lips held seduction, and her voice held love.

I couldn't contain it. I couldn't hold back.

She was only a child. No more than fourteen. She had learned many things from her tutors.

A child of her age is being prepared for marriage, which comes at the age of eighteen.

I let her live with me at her will. She was free to leave if she saw it fit.

But she stayed by my side.

How was I supposed to reject her advances?

She smiled at me through the dim light of the fire place across my bedroom.

She walked in my direction, disrobing.

I couldn't look away.

Her hips were slightly noticeable and the small swell of her breasts made my mouth water.

I lay still on the bed and watched as she removed the pony tail from her head.

This was wrong.

She is only a child.

My ward.

How can I let this go on? Why didn't I stop her the first time?

She reaches the bed and climbs up over my legs.

Stretched out as I was, the hook of my pants was easily reached by her small delicate hands.

I lay there and watch as this nymph takes a hold of my member.

She looks at it, almost to inspect the object she will place in her mouth.

It's not fully erect but she has experienced the full girth before.

She looks up into my eyes and waits for my reaction, as if I had to give her permission.

I lay there motionless, this is her doing, and if she wants it she can have it, if not then put it away.

She continues to stare into my eyes.

I can read her like a book. I lift my eyebrow to dare her.

She smiles and opens her mouth wide.

I hide a soft gasp. My anticipation is getting the best of me and I fear I will force it in her mouth.

She sticks her tongue out to taste the pre-cum on the tip.

I sigh softly expecting her to tell me the taste is bitter or salty.

She licks her lips and I hear a soft whisper say, "Mmm."

I want to melt. I want to fall into the grace that has been laid on my lap.

"This taste good."

Her voice drips with seduction.

She licks the tip again and I fear the beast inside me will escape.

"If you like the way that taste, you should try the rest."

The emotion I feel is hidden well and I see disappointment slightly written on her face.

Although, she does not give up, it is her wish to see me beg. Plea for her pleasure and I will give her none.

She is too small for me to take full advantage of, I await the day she is capable to accept me fully. I will show her the passion behind a full male demon.

She holds the member in one hand and softly begins to caress the sack underneath with the other. I clench my teeth at the unexpected sensation.

She looks up at me again, my face is still cool and calm but my insides are going wild.

"How does this feel?"

I breathe away my urges, and with a cool tone I respond, "I enjoy it very much."

I inwardly laugh at another face of disappointment. She is desperate to see me falter, to show her emotion.

She stops her ministrations and sits up.

"If you aren't going to do anything with it would you at least put it back?"

She pouts, her face begins to turn back into its natural skin tone.

I begin to feel that I may have stopped what was going to happen. The pink blush on her skin has disappeared and my member has become flaccid.

She sighs in disappointment. I begin to feel guilty.

Yet, there it is, the smile from the week before. The smile she gave me the night she lost her innocence to me.

She stands up on her knees and crawls to my upper torso.

She licks my lips and trails kisses on my jaw.

Her right hand traces the demon markings on my face.

I can't help but to close my eyes as I allow her lips to roam my neck.

I smell her hair, cinnamon and honey. Her arousal is strong and the heat of her skin is daring.

Her left hand moves down my stomach to my pelvis. She's checking to see if she's re-aroused me.

She has.

She giggles lightly as I run my fingers through her hair and place wet kisses on the pulse of her neck.

She moans as I move my hand to her firm round bottom.

Her arousal has intensified and I begin to feel guilty again.

Am I the cause of her adolescent actions? Am I to blame for her tender body's need for me?

I can't help it any longer and I find her mouth. I hold her head to prevent her from moving as I plunge my tongue into her hot mouth.

She moans again while running her hands down my sides. The action tickles slightly and I let go of her face.

Aside from our lustful session a week ago, she still needs experience. I am more than willing to show her.

"Lord Sesshomaru," she moans, "show me how to love you."

I take into consideration her request. The first time we did this it was simple. She came to me in the middle of the night. I was on top and she laid still. She had planned on doing the positions in the karma sutra scrolls she had found in the library.

"Not the first time." I told her. "It will be too painful."

She agreed that night.

But now, she wants love.

I push her up so that she straddles my lap.

She giggles again at the sight of my now fully erect member.

She runs her thumb over the head and a low growl escapes my mouth.

She looks up wide eyed and I see that, it was the reaction she had wanted all along.

I lift her from her waist and set my phallus directly underneath her.

Her face is covered with excitement and I sit her down, impaling her.

She gasps loudly and I hiss through my teeth.

Her hands grab hold on of few strands of my hair.

I can see the slight pain on her face.

She's still too tight and I smell her blood.

"Maybe we should do it the way we did it last time." I manage to say.

She's breathing hard, and guilt once again creeps up my stomach.

"No, I'm fine." She smiles, "I want to do it this way."

She is stubborn, and always has to have it her way. Perhaps I have rubbed off on her.

"It pains you, therefore it pains me." I plead. I do not wish to see her in any type of agony.

"Pain is a part of life," she moves her hands to our current connection, "You taught me that."

She haunches over and lands on her hands. She lifts her pelvis up and very slowly, brings herself back down.

Another growl escapes from my mouth and she grins.

"Is that what breaks your calm demeanor my lord."

She gives me a look of victory.

I couldn't hold it any longer. Her slow paced strokes were torture.

"Oh my sweet, sweet Rin, you have not seen anything I am capable of."

I sit up and wrap her legs around my waist.

She is taken by surprise and wraps her arms around my neck for balance.

I pulled aside her hair and growl in her ear, "Scream for me."

It was not my intention. I did not want to hurt her, but the beast within me had to have its way.

It wanted to love her, love her hard.

I push her down onto me and start a deep and steady pace.

She begins to whimper.

But the whimper is not of pain.

But of pleasure.

She is enjoying this?

Is this what she was trying to get out of me the entire time?

She's beginning to pant and I feel the flood of her juices drip down my shaft.

She is getting slicker.

I pull her hair so that she lets go of my neck, her face is contorted with pleasure and her eyes are glassy.

I push her down on to her back, and move my legs so that I am standing on my knees.

Her face is flushed and sweaty.

I lean over her and rest my hands above her shoulders. I lick away the sweat as I continue to push into her.

Her arms are stretched out and her knees are resting on my upper thighs.

"How is this, my little dove? Is this the reaction you wanted from me?"

I begin to push harder and she holds back a scream.

Is that what this has become, a game?

"Don't try to hold back, I will make you scream."

She shakes her head.

Stubborn little nymph.

I rock my hips in a circular motion and she moves her hands to cover her mouth.

I have yet to fuck her the way I would a full figured demoness. If I was to do so, she would be in pieces. I'm holding back, but I fear I won't be able to much longer.

I pull her hands above her head and she bites her lips.

"Come now Rin, you can't hold it in forever."

She shuts her eyes.

I'm almost there. I feel it at the pit of my stomach. I will control myself till I hear her scream.

I hold her wrists with my left hand and play with the hidden treasure above her core.

She cries out. She did not expect this and now I am the one who feels victorious.

I lick my thumb and softly rub her button in quick circular motions, matching my hips.

She is at her peak and I am almost there too.

At last, her back arches up and she throws her head back. Her scream is loud and music to my demon ears.

When she comes back down I finish with a few more thrusts and allow my seed to enter her womb.

She is panting and covered with sweat. The room is filled with erotic musk.

Her chest rises and falls, her small underdeveloped breast bounce slightly, faintly noticeable.

I pull my self out of her and begin to clean myself off with one of the wash rags I keep by my bed, for special occasions.

She turns to her side, giving me her back.

I see the juices, hers and mine, drip from the crease of her butt cheek.

"Here," I hand her one of the rags, "clean yourself off. You'll feel uncomfortable if you don't."

She nods, unable to reach for the rag.

I chuckle lightly. Seems I'm the one who'll have to clean her.

Lifting her leg up I clean the mess we've made. She inhales as I pass the rag over her center.

By the time I was through she had fallen asleep. I hear her faint child like snore.

I sit there, staring at her, admiring her.

How can I sit here and feel contempt at what I have done?

But you don't understand.

I've never felt this before.

She is so different.

Would the world forgive me?

For what I have done.

Deflowered.

Degraded.

Only a child.

But my heart aches.

My heart burns.

I need her.

I love her.

NO.

This is wrong.

I should be a father for her.

I raised her, I'm still raising her.

I can not let this continue. She'll understand in time.

I must find a way to prevent tonight's actions from ever occurring again.

I think back to a conversation I had with Kano, a bride's dealer from the southern land.

He had told me of a special Dove Demon by the name of Azakii. She was supposed to be the most beautiful demon on earth.

"You can have her for a thousand." He said, "She'll make your dreams come true."

Can I do this to Rin? Would she understand that this is for her own good?

I can not continue to impure her with my urges and lustful desires. When she becomes older she'll understand my actions.

Picking her up I take her to her room. Her bed is still made and the window is open.

Her room is cool and she shivers.

God Rin, please don't hate me.

I close the door behind me and head to my study. I will write to Kano to deliver my bride.

Rin, this is for your own good.

----My love----

I receive approval from Kano who instructs me to prepare the castle for her arrival.

Rin has yet to come out of her room. She has locked herself in for almost two days.

She won't eat. Every time a servant comes to her door, she refuses to open.

Jaken even went as far as to threaten her, "I'll burn your door down you stupid girl!"

She gave no reply.

"Please Rin at least eat."

No reply.

No one has been to her door since.

The guilt again for the hundredth time twists my insides. It is my fault. I should have never loved her.

I close my eyes and think back on those nights that took place months ago. Her skin was warm and so responsive.

I feel a slight arousal and force myself at what is at hand now. My bride will be here in any moment.

I wait by the castle's main doors.

Rin has snuck out of her room to witness the arrival. I can smell her scent, as well as her tears.

I force myself not to look at her direction. I pretend not to notice her.

The doors open and a row of six servants enter. They drop rose petals on the floor and bow as Azakii enters.

Kano was right. She is a magnificent creature. Her skin is pale like the moon and her hair is golden blonde. Her eyes are blue like the sea and her wings are white as snow.

Her scent is pleasing. Any demon with eyes would find her arousingly attractive, but I can only think of Rin.

She bows, "Lord Sesshomaru, it is a pleasure to meet you."

Her voice is seductive but it only brings memories of Rin.

"Azakii, my servants will attend to your every need. This castle is your home now, feel free to explore."

I turn around and head to my study. I hear the commotion downstairs. Azakii is exploring the castle, and Rin returned to her room.

I stop at the door of my study. There is one thing I have to do.

I knock on Rin's door.

She again gives no reply.

"Rin, if you don't open this door I will have you moved forcefully to the servants' quarters."

It's a bluff and I'm sure she knows it.

I hear a click and the door slowly swings open.

Rin hides behind the door as I enter.

"Rin, stop this foolishness and come meet Azakii. She will be your mother figure."

Rin slams the door. Her hair is tangled and her eyes are swollen.

"I hate you."

Her words sting.

"When you are older you'll understand why I have done this."

She screams, "No, I'll always hate you. You used me."

The guilt again eats at me.

"You were the one who came to me."

"And took advantage of it."

Her words slap me hard, and I know there is no one else to blame but me.

She runs to me and starts to hit at my chest.

"I hate you. I hate you. I hate you!" she pounds at my chest.

I try to hold her hands, "Rin stop this."

Her actions of anger and jealousy arouse me. Her body is close to me and I can feel her body heat.

So warm.

So delicate.

To have her again.

I hold her arms up and push her to the door.

She yelps.

"Why can't you understand that I have to do this? It's for your own good."

My lips move close to hers and I once again feel the urges to have her.

Her eyes are glossy and her breathing is fast.

Her arousal is spiking and my heart melts.

"I hate you."

Venom drips off her tone.

She pushes me with her body. I hold her down with mine.

Do it.

You want it.

You need it.

I kiss her. Hard and she accepts.

The kiss is heavy full of hunger.

Holding her hands with my right, my left moves down to her child like breasts.

Why am I doing this when I know it's wrong? She is still a child to me.

She pulls her arms from my grip and runs her hands through my hair. Her mouth is sweet and I lose myself in her scent.

What am I doing? Why do I continue?

In a few moments we are nude and exploring each others body. She pulls me into her and I hold her as I find her core with my stiff member.

I push myself inside her. She moans. She is hot and wet.

I can't contain it. Her body screams for me and I ache for hers.

We are one again.

I push harder and faster. She groans and moves with me.

My wife to be is somewhere in the castle.

Would she approve of this? Would she be sickened by the idea of a full grown demon in love with a fourteen year old child?

We finish our love session. She is panting for air. Her face is flushed and I'm still hard.

I fight the urge to go again.

I should have stopped this the first time.

"I need you." she pleas. "I want you."

"We shouldn't be doing this." I hold my urges.

"Please my lord, make me cum again."

Her voice drips with seduction.

Her lip's smile with mischief.

Her eyes hold love.

"Azakii is here." I say.

She frowns.

"Will you at least meet her?" I ask.

"NO."

"Rin, please."

Her eyes water and the tears fall.

Why do I continue to do this to her? Why must I make her suffer?

She stands up and dresses herself.

"Get out."

I find my robes and dress myself. She stands by her window, giving me her back.

"For what it's worth, I'll never love her."

She drops her head. "Then why is she here?"

I had forgotten the answer to her question. Azakii was supposed to help me forget about Rin. What good that did. There is no point in telling her. The more I think about it, Azakii has no real reason to be here.

"I can't undo what has been done." is my only reply.

She turns around and throws a book at my direction. "She is here to be your wife. It's obvious you don't want me as a mate."

I give her my best blank expression. She doesn't understand what my intentions were. I've messed them up by falling victim to my own desires.

I can not give her a proper response. My only choice now is to leave.

I exit her room and see Azakii getting settled into the master bedroom.

"Azakii."

She turns around holding a thin silk robe. It's obvious she planned on wearing it to seduce me.

"Lord Sesshomaru," she sits on the bed placing the garment at her side, "the castle is magnificent and the servants are pleasing. However there is one person I didn't meet, a so called Rin, the servants said."

"Rin is feeling ill, you can meet her some other day."

I can tell that Azakii has noticed a difference in my scent. She looks at me and dismisses it.

Walking out of the room I tell her over my shoulder that dinner is served.

At the dining room I wait for Azakii. The meal hasn't been brought to the table yet. I can still smell Rin's musk on my skin, so I try to hold my breath.

Azakii enters. She has changed to a more formal gown. Still white to match her wings, the only splash of color is the light red tint on her thin lips.

She sits to my right side and instantly I tell her, "That is Rin's seat."

I inwardly winced at my statement.

She stood and walked around to my left.

"I did not know you held such a strong bond with the child," she took a sip of her wine, "I thought she was not coming down for dinner."

"She might change her mind."

"You said she was ill."

I give her a stare. She clears her throat and apologizes.

"If she should decide to come down and eat, I would like for her to feel at home. This is of course, her home."

Azakii nods. "Of course, Lord Sesshomaru."

Was she starting to suspect something? Would she do something about it?

She wouldn't dare.

It would end her life.

Small feet, tapping on the floor.

Closer, they approach the dining room doors.

The scent is of Rin's.

She opens the doors, dressed in her evening kimono, with her hair in a bun. She walks to the dinning table and takes her usual seat. She bows at Azakii.

I am speechless. I stare at her with fascination and wonder.

What she is plotting?

"Rin, I must say, Lord Sesshomaru did not mention what a beautiful little girl you are." Azakii looks at her. I hope she does not pick up her deflowered scent.

"As he did not tell me of your beauty as well." She smiles.

I feel an odd vibe. Has Rin done something?

I'm about to ask her how she was feeling when the food arrives. The servants line the dishes at the center of the table and begin to serve us.

I am intrigued by the scent of Rin coming out of the kitchen.

Was she just there?

"My Lord?"

Azakii caught me staring at the doors of the kitchen.

"I was just thinking." I say bringing me back to the table.

"About what, My Lord?" Rin's voice hides something.

I look at her, she peers into my demon eyes, almost as if she wants me to see something in her eyes.

Azakii once again breaks my thought, "Lord Sesshomaru, if it is alright with you. I would like to take a tour around a small garden I saw outside. It has the most beautiful flowers I have ever seen."

Rin quickly looks at her, "That is my garden. I would like it very much if it was only touched by me."

I can sense that Azakii has become nervous.

"Forgive me." She says.

"No, it is Rin who should apologize. The comment could have been delivered more politely."

Rin places her tea cup on the table. She turns to look at me and then to Azakii. Sweetly and childishly, she gives her apologies.

The rest of the dinner was awkward and uneasy. I had the constant suspicions of something. Rin ate her dinner not saying a word, while Azakii would not shut up. There were countless times when Azakii would catch me staring at Rin, or Rin staring at me.

How about now? Does she sense the lustful tension between me and my ward?

The sun sets and the moon rises. We gather at my study to sit by the fire. I make Rin play her flute for Azakii.

It seemed to be going well. If Azakii knows anything, she chooses to ignore it. Rin is playing along with the role of a child who has found a new mother. As for me, I sit on my thrown and wonder what I will do when Rin reaches of age.

I turn my attention to Azakii who begins to cough violently.

"Azakii? Are you alright?" I jump from my seat and rush to her side.

Azakii begins to convolve. Her pale skin turns green as her heart stops beating.

I can smell the blood that pools in her mouth. She had been poisoned.

I turn to see Rin blank face standing by the fire place with her flute by her side.

"What have you done?"

She doesn't reply. She only stands there looking at the dead body of the once beautiful dove demoness.

"What have you done?" I shake her by the shoulders.

Finally her eyes meet mine.

"Do you think I would let her take my place in your bed?" She shoves my hands off her.

"Do you think I would allow her to play mother to me?" She walks to the corpse.

"Did it ever cross you mind? What would she think and do if she found out about us? The great Lord Sesshomaru fucking his human ward."

I fill with pure rage. I find myself holding Rin against the stone frame of the fire place.

"That does not mean for you to become a murderer."

She pushes me off and runs to Azakii's side. "I will not be replaced, even if I have to kill her AGAIN AND AGAIN." She pulls a knife from here kimono and stabs Azakii in her non-beating heart. "DO YOU NOT SEE THE PAIN YOU BRING ME? OR DO YOU JUST NOT CARE?"

I can hear the guards banging on the door. They are surprised to see Rin with the knife in her hands.

I am unable to stop them from taking Rin into the prison cells below.

They take her away as well as the cold corpse of Azakii.

I once again find myself standing in a room alone.

Rin what have you done?

Am I the cause of this?

Can I be forgiven?

Please forgive me.

Two days have passed. I stand in front of her prison cell door.

It is time I face this. She has to understand.

There is no other option.

The cell is dimly lighted. She sits in the dark corner.

She smells like sweat and tears.

"Rin, are you ready to come out?"

She gives me no reply.

"Rin, respond."

She scoffs, "I thought I was to rot here in this cell."

"Never."

"So, you will forget what I have done?"

I walk into the small prison cell and place a hand on her small head.

"I killed her." She whispered.

"It was something I could have prevented."

"She was beautiful."

I kneel beside her. Her small frail form shivers at my touch.

"Can you forgive me, Rin?" We make eye contact. "What I have done, is unfair and wrong."

She frowns.

"It was wrong to make a woman out of you at such an early age. It was not my intention to let you have your way."

The tears roll down her cheeks.

"I wanted you to grow, and find a family of your own."

She looks away.

"You are free to leave. I hold no bound to you."

She stands. Her face is flushed like that faithful night weeks ago.

"You can't just let this go. You can't cast me aside." She falls to her knees and grabs a hold on my waist. "I just want to be by your side."

Her sobs are heartbreaking.

They are the pieces of her soul escaping.

I hold her, "I never wanted to hurt you. Perhaps this is for the best."

Her grip tightens.

"Rin, you have to understand."

"NO, my place is by your side."

She is such a child.

Only a child.

Does she really understand the complexity of her desire?

Can I let her have her way, again?

I can not let her go. She is a part of me.

There is only us.

Only this moment.

I hold her tight.

She is the keeper of my soul.

Rin, what will become us?


End file.
